≡ Menu



My procrastination usually leads to really shitty Halloween costumes. I expected this year to be no different. When Jill asked me what we should do for our Halloween costume contest at work, I half joked that we should just go dressed as each other and see if anyone could even notice.

Our “costumes” turned out much better than I thought, and Jill dressed as me even ended up being the winner of the costume contest. I’m not sure what exactly that says about me that my style is eclectic enough to win a costume contest, but for now I’ve decided to take it as a compliment.

My other half-assed costume was a couple costume with Monica. I had originally planned to do a couple costume with well, my boyfriend (we were going to be Dexter and Dee-Dee from Dexter’s lab), but ultimately I decided that Monica and I should be Nacho Cheese & Cool Ranch Doritos. And yes, I had this idea BEFORE Katy Perry debuted her Halloween costume–a Cheeto.

Our Doritos costumes just basically ended up being red & blue dresses, but we at least made the effort to krazy glue actual Doritos to our headbands. As a last minute addition, we put chip clips on our necklaces and hung actual bags of Doritos from the clips. This basically made our costumes a raving success because people could take a chip or two every time we walked by.



We hosted a Halloween/Housewarming party at our apartment on the Saturday of Halloween weekend, which featured a water cooler full of an extremely dangerous brandy-spiked sangria and a crockpot full of homemade spinach artichoke dip (wife skills outta control here). We had stocked up on wine from the Trader Joes in Virginia (the ones in Maryland don’t sell wine), but then everyone ended up bringing us wine anyway so now we have 18 bottles of wine and I’m not complaining one bit.





On actual Halloween, the crew and I opted for a night in of watching scary movies. Even movies I’ve already seen before (the Conjuring) still manage to make me a terrified mess:



My white girl fro (as visible in the photo below) is getting out of control these days, and I’m going to attempt to go put a brush through it. If you don’t hear from me in a week, there’s a good chance I’ve gotten lost in the rat’s nest on top of my head. Call for a hair stylist and/or an exorcist.




i found a dead bug in my hair this morning

Not to sound dramatic, but this is how my life has been this past week:

Screen Shot 2014-10-24 at 7.13.24 PM

I can deal with the $60 ticket I got while parked at the Metro for having an expired registration. I can deal with two (false) compulsory INS violations that were blocking my renewed registration. I can deal with the red light camera ticket that is making its way to my mailbox. I can deal with the Chipotle mafia at my office that consistently dominates the free lunch Friday vote at work, despite the well known fact that Chipotle does mean things to my insides (I’m nice enough to at least go to the gas station when my intestines go into freak mode). But did I have to go and drop my favorite part of the banana on the floor?

Let’s take a step back. I moved this month. And our condo association has some bullshit rule where you can’t move in on weekends or holidays, so my plans to have my family come in from out of town on Saturday to help me move were quickly overturned. Monica and I put up some desperate signs around the warehouse at work before my boss agreed to let everyone come into work late that Friday so they could lend a hand. We got the entire 17 foot Budget Truck unloaded in an hour, and I was almost sad to return it. Who would have thought someone used to driving a chicken nugget car could master a 17 foot Budget Truck so quickly? I didn’t choose the truck life; the truck life chose me.

Screen Shot 2014-10-26 at 2.24.56 PM

I’m really loving my new apartment so far. It feels so much more charismatic but also grown up than my previous apartments. We’ve actually taken to decorating it and making it look nice, instead of just using it as a place to store our belongings, as I’ve treated other apartments in the past. Monica and I even went and bought some paintings on our lunch break like classy bitches. I’ve definitely been cheating on fashion with furniture, and my latest trip to Ikea has resulted in a 2/3 of the way built dresser that is pretty much the bane of my existence–not to be confused with the the bane cat of my existence (“I was bOrn in the darkness.”)

Of course now’s about the time for a low note. I didn’t see the point in bringing the chinchilla cage with me when I moved–mostly because I don’t see myself ready to get another pet any time soon. I still have some pretty upsetting nightmares, the most recent one involving me going back to my old apartment for a few things I forgot, only to realize that I’d forgotten the chinchilla. There he was running around my room, healthy as can be, and so happy to see me. “I can’t believe I forgot you,” I said as I scratched under his chin. And then there was the dream where I kept his body in the cage even after he passed, and I shook it really hard one day and he woke up. Oh you guys, he still has such a grip on my heart.


Alright. Let me dig myself out of my pity hole to tell you what else is new.

I went to a wedding recently and went home with the best man. I guess I should tell you the best man was my boyfriend.


I’ve listened to Hozier’s “Take Me to Church” so many times that I’ve turned into a gay man. It’s seriously such a powerful and amazing song.

I don’t know if you caught it or not, but I made an appearance on the Kimye wedding episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians:

Screen Shot 2014-10-26 at 2.44.28 PM

There’s a farmer’s market right across the street from my apartment every Saturday. I am pretty much in heaven, because there’s a stand that sells homemade pickles.

The crew and I went to 9:30 club last night to see Vance Joy. When I woke up this morning, McDonalds breakfast was a necessity, not an option, and I found a dead bug in my hair. Hopefully that’s a pretty good representation of the kind of night I had.

Screen Shot 2014-10-26 at 2.45.45 PM

Screen Shot 2014-10-26 at 2.49.04 PM



the fault in our bars

When was the last time you got something for a dollar? More importantly, when was the last time you got an awesome drink for a dollar?

Yesterday, Brandon, Leah, and I went to Adams Morgan and stopped at Medaterra for some margaritas. The margaritas are usually $3–which is a damn bargain on it’s own, but apparently between 4-6 the margaritas are only $1.

I’ll take a 10, please.


The food at Medaterra is equally on point. I got the Roman Bruschetta with lamb, which was basically French bread with goat cheese, garlic, tomatoes, and roasted lamb. I will probably dream of this dish until the next time I have it.

After we left Medaterra, we walked over to 18th street to Muzettes, where Jackie was celebrating her birthday. It will probably surprise you to learn that I don’t have a TON of karaoke experience, but if you’re going to do karaoke, I feel like this is the way to do it.

Muzettes has a bunch of different rooms that you can rent out so that it’s just your party doing the karaoke in that room with your own karaoke machine.


Backstreet Boys, Robin, Alanis, Lana, and Spice Girls happened. Pretty standard.

Of course the reward for making it all the way to Admo is….


An end-of-the-night visit to Jumbo Slice.

A few random extra tidbits for you:

We had our office remodeled and now have a lovely, big white wall to project games onto while we work.


In other news, if you don’t want me to drink champagne at work, don’t leave bottles of bubbly in the water cooler:


The bosses being away also means I took charge of our free lunch Friday vote. The options included “Chipotle,” “Five Guys,” and “Four guys will suffice, thanks.” When it was time to go pick up our order, I ended the training call I was on with, “Ok I gotta go pick up five guys. And then I gotta pick up lunch.” My poor coworkers, I know. I never seem to run out of five guys jokes:

Screen Shot 2014-10-05 at 10.51.16 AM

Oh and one final gem from this week. Spotted: a smart car with a spinning turn key on the back:


Well I’m going to go do what I do best on Sundays: patiently wait for the next acceptable meal time to feed myself.



The other day I was thinking about how I wish I was one of those people who got up in the morning and went for a run. So I got up in the morning and decided to walk–just to see how I felt about being up early, outside, and moving. I was feeling good and an upbeat song came on my iPhone, so I went for it and ran. I ran until my lungs felt like they were going to explode before stopping. I had made it two blocks.


To add insult to injury, I stepped in dog shit on my way home. I might not be getting up early and running anymore.

In other exciting news, my baby seestor passed her nursing exam and is officially an RN:

Screen Shot 2014-09-29 at 9.06.53 PM

She makes us proud. I guess that was worth all the studying she did on vacation while I spent the week catching up on Teen Mom 2 and drinking Bloody Marys.

Speaking of drinking, I’ve been drinking a ridiculous amount of green tea. I once read that drinking 3 cups of green tea burns 80 calories, so I’ve been averaging 10,000 cups a day. And did you know there’s such a thing as green tea vodka? I went to a hobbit-themed bar in Alexandria (Bilbo Baggins) and there was  a cocktail on the menu featuring green tea vodka. I wonder if the health benefits are the same? Either way, I’ll be back to Alexandria soon.


So the last thing I should tell you is that I’m officially moving. Monica and I got approved for the cutest 2 bed/2 bath in Rockville Town Center. Our kitchen is my favorite:


Ok so I realized I gushed about catching Tyler Moore’s homerun at the Nationals game in yesterday’s blog post, but I have another update. One of Leah’s coworkers sent her this video we hadn’t seen yet where John tries to steal the ball from me. Poor John is made out to look like a dick, but it was definitely all in good fun.

Screen Shot 2014-09-29 at 9.49.34 PM

Hmmmm–yesterday you said you let me catch the ball with my face, Johnny dear.

This “excited woman” is going to bed.



if I had a bucket list…

I once made a joke that instead of a bucket list, I have a “fuck it” list. It seriously is just a list of people I want to fuck before I die. Of course, I then heard Jerry Seinfeld make a similar joke on Bill Maher soooooo he beat me to it and you probably won’t even believe that I made it first.

But if I did have a bucket list, I’d be able to cross this off:


No big deal–just me catching Tyler Moore’s homerun ball at the Nationals’ game on Friday. And yes, I used my hippo mask as a glove to catch it (even though I had a glove with me–like a loser–the hippo mask happened to already be in my hand from earlier shenanigans):


John summed it up pretty well:

Screen Shot 2014-09-28 at 9.47.25 PM

Ok so obviously I didn’t catch it with my face, but if you watch the clip of the play, you can see John move out of the way and me grab it with the hippo mask before jumping up and down like a kid on Christmas morning.

Screen Shot 2014-09-28 at 9.51.06 PM

Remember my theory that there’s such a thing as the Lexie Phenomenon? That just way too much crazy random often amazing shit happens when I’m around for it to be a coincidence? Do you believe me yet??

Enough talk–here’s the clip:


catching up

Maddie joined me in Maryland last weekend for workout time, pool time, and of course, Ed Sheeran time. We both used this concert as an excuse to recycle our British flag tanks, though I guess not everyone knows their flags so well…

We went to Le Madeleine before the concert and one of the chefs approached us and asked us if we were Australian. Assuming he meant because of the matching flag shirts, I said “No, we’re going to see Ed Sheeran–he’s British.”

“Good, I thought I was going to have to denounce my citizenship.”

When he delivered our food, he scolded us for ordering healthy food at a French restaurant. To be clear, this man’s version of healthy meant cream-based soup, half a roasted veggie panini with goat cheese, and a side Caesar salad. We topped it off with what felt like endless small French bread slices with butter AND jelly, and I also couldn’t leave without a small strawberry cheesecake sample. All and all, his version of healthy was definitely 1200 calories.

As we left the restaurant, he told us to “enjoy the concert and order something fattening sometime.”

We theorize he may want to fatten us up and cook us.

After a short trip to target (I saw a toy online I wanted to get for Lily and neither of the Targets I’ve been to have had it. I said “awwww shit” in front of a baby in one of the toy aisles, so according to Maddie I can’t shop for children’s toys anymore), we were standing in a giant line that looped past Merriweather’s Dumpster not once but twice. At least it only went past the port-o-potties once.

Not soon after we got to our covered seating  (apparently there is a difference between row double zero and row double oh… I thought we were in the front and here we were almost in the back), the storm of all storms unleashed itself onto the peasants in the lawn seating. It kind of reminded me of Titanic, except in Titanic the people on the lifeboat didn’t whip out their phones to take photos and videos of the poor people still left on the ship, or in our case, participating in a mandatory wet tshirt contest.

While waiting for the opening act, I felt something sticky on my leg, only to look down and see a fair amount of blood with no visible source. Was it someone else’s blood? Was it ketchup that really really looked like blood? We’ll never know for sure, but Maddie the soon-to-be-nurse was disappointed in herself for not having alcohol wipes on her and we all know I’d rather hang out with blood-bourne-pathogens than brave the rain to get a paper towel or napkin.

 Screen Shot 2014-09-14 at 5.53.06 PM

For me, seeing Ed Sheeran in concert is the closest thing to a spiritual experience I’m ever going to get. If you’ve never seen him perform, he doesn’t play with a band or backup singers–he instead uses a loop pedal to create his harmonies and back track.

The concert was only a little over a week ago but I’ve already looked into his tour dates to see when I can see him again. Unless I can make it to London, it looks like it won’t be anytime soon.

The morning after the concert, my mom picked me and Maddie up and drove us down to Virginia Beach for the week. Two out of six days, the weather was absolutely perfect. The other days, I mostly focused on consuming a strict Bloody Mary only diet and getting in some quality time with the family (especially my little Tiger Lilly):


She’s a bit bigger than last year’s vacation, where I remembered being terrified of accidentally stepping on her. “Why would anyone leave the baby on the floor for you to step on?” Maddie asked me. I never said my fears were rational.


I certainly wasn’t as disciplined as I was last vacation–walking five miles every day and blogging every day. I did manage to come back five pounds lighter though–which I guess I have to give some credit to Jillian Michaels videos, hot lemon water every morning, and only having what I will call one “fat night,” where Maddie, my mom, and I decided to share a pizza, cheesy bread, and fries with..you guessed it, more cheese. Oink oink.

We came back a day early, giving me some extra time for some D.C. night life. Natasha and I decided we’re going to start a blog called “The Fault in Our Bars” where we review all of the different bars in D.C. Any excuse to have liquid dinner–you know.

Screen Shot 2014-09-15 at 10.09.30 PM


As lovely as my past week has been, I must admit that Mags still remains in the back of mind. I was thinking about how last year when I went to Virginia Beach, I asked my friend Hiba to check up on the chinch while I was away. She had trouble latching and unlatching his cage, so I ended up coming home to an empty chinchilla cage.

“After about fifteen seconds of initial panic, I realized I knew just the place to look for him–under Carol’s bed. While I’m not sure how long Margaret Thatcher had free reign of the entire house, I am sure that he probably wishes Hiba would babysit more often,” I wrote last year.

I can’t say I’ve healed or that I even want to. Sometimes I see a picture of him and smile; sometimes I see a picture of him and cry.


Give your fur ball a nuzzle tonight for me, because I sure am missing mine.

Thanks for being patient while we got caught up. I’ll try not to stay away so long next time.




In case you happen to be a newer reader, you should know that I spent my first 2.5 years after college living rent-free in my stepmother’s empty Germantown townhouse. As we enter the month of September, I near the end of my first year paying DC area rent (which is nearly 3x more expensive than the Pittsburgh rent I was used to).

While part of me wishes I had taken advantage of the townhouse for longer, paying rent in this area has caused me to think about money in a completely different way–a way that I think is going to benefit me for a very long time.

Now that I’m more budget conscious, there are plenty of “luxuries” that I used to partake in that I can’t even try to justify these days.  Manicures? I’ll paint em myself. Happy hours? Once a week at the most, though it’s probably more like every other week. Eating out? Not if I’ve already paid for groceries that will go bad if I don’t use them. Cabs home from the bar? Are you crazy?! I’ll take the metro. Speed cam tickets? A few minutes of my time isn’t worth the $30 it will cost me to drive faster. Sale at Steve Madden? Okay, I broke down once. But for the most part, I have to prioritize dem bills! Hell, I needed a dress to wear to a wedding a few weeks ago and I shopped for that in Natasha’s closet. Being broke has made me thrifty! I’ve even resorted to getting my hair done on Jill’s farm:


Truth be told, I probably bit off more than I could chew with the apartment I’m at now. While the rent was only slightly out of my budget, none of the utilities were included in the rent. I’m not going to make this mistake again–despite how much I loved that penthouse suite above Gordon Bierch in Rockville Town Center. A penthouse suite above a brewery that’s just barely out of my price range? Life is so cruel sometimes.

Even though I’ve developed a new frugal mindset after nearly a year of living life with rent, I would hate for you to think I haven’t been having any fun. The nice thing about learning to say “no” to the small things is that you can say “yes” to the things that you really want. Brown bagging my lunch is pretty easy when it means I don’t have to feel guilty about a crab leg dinner at Bethany Beach last weekend with four of my best friends.


Plus, there are plenty of free things to do in lovely D.C. Botanical Gardens? Check. Window shopping in Georgetown? Totally free as long as you’ve got self control.


One final financial revelation I’ll share with you? Groupons and Living Social deals actually don’t save you any money if it wasn’t something you were going to buy anyway. Who would have thought! As much as I love you Pure Barre, I won’t fall for that one again!


my procrastination almost cost me $900

For someone who majored in journalism, where missing a deadline could mean not getting the paper to the printer in time, I’ve got a nasty procrastination habit. I remember one time reading, “if it takes 5 minutes, don’t put it off,” and thinking that sounded so smart. Yet, I just can’t seem to make it stick.

And admittedly, I’m the worst at procrastinating when it comes to paying bills. Thank god for autopay, because I’d be late for every bill I pay if it wasn’t automated at this point.

My procrastination almost cost me $900 this week when my roommate and I gave our notice to our property management company that we weren’t going to renew our lease. One of the agents let us know that since we didn’t give 60 days notice prior to the end of our lease, we’d be responsible for an additional month of rent at an elevated price.


I was planning on moving out in September, and was already stressed about having to pay a security deposit, prorated rent at my current apartment, and one month rent at my new apartment. Having to pay two months rent in October on top of that would have been p-a-i-n-f-u-l. Like, going and laying down in traffic painful.

Things got pretty desperate:

Screen Shot 2014-08-22 at 7.24.33 PM

Ultimately, it ended up working itself out. Since I hadn’t signed a lease anywhere else yet, I decided to just start my apartment hunting again in October.

I can’t help but feel like 2014 hasn’t exactly been my year–and I also can’t help but feel like it’s advanced too far to turn it around. Maybe this is a pessimistic way of thinking, but part of me is somewhat anxious for the clean slate of 2015 to roll around.

You might take this the wrong way, but I really didn’t expect to still be so devastated about Mags nearly two months later.


At the end of the day, it’s not like he was a person. But at the same time, sometimes he was the only one I had. Essentially, the only thing that had stayed constant in the past five years of my life.

I definitely have a void, and I’m also definitely not ready to try and fill it. Brian and I went into the pet store last weekend–just so I could test the waters. I left the pet stores in tears, very clearly not ready to move on yet.

I can’t even try to act like there aren’t a ton of good things in my life. The truth of the matter is, my life looks pretty ideal–at least from the standpoint of my social media profiles.

Screen Shot 2014-08-26 at 10.31.37 PM

Screen Shot 2014-08-26 at 10.29.48 PM 10649548_10152592596667559_3834347185586227684_n 10603667_10102910845783568_732643441065038946_n


The simple fact of the matter is, anytime something bad happens, I pile it on the top of my grief sundae and dig in with my self pity spoon. Just know that I’m trying to get my act together–from paying more attention to the legally binding documents I sign (like my leases), to calling my grandparents more frequently, to actually unloading the dishwasher completely instead of just taking out a fork when I need it, and to limiting my selfies to only when my makeup looks absolutely bangin’.



werth it

Tonight I reached an interesting low. I hid from my Pure Barre class in my Body Pump class. I always thought I was such a badass taking a barbell class, but put me in a class with a barre? I’m shaking in my socks. Literally.

We got to work from home these past few days while our office is under construction. Of course I’ve been calling it “working from gnome.” Let me explain.

I’ve taking a bit of a liking to the Washington Nationals (Brian might be to blame). In particular, I’ve taken a liking to Jayson Werth. At last night’s game, the first 25,000 people to enter the stadium received a Jayson Werth garden gnome.

Screen Shot 2014-08-06 at 8.54.10 PM

Much to my surprise, people started lining up at the stadium at 3 p.m. (4 hours before the game) to ensure they got their gnome. I got there around 5:45 and still managed to get one, though I know a lot of people ended up gnomeless. In fact, the people we sat next to paid Brian $40 for his gnome (I wasn’t willing to part with mine–not after going through metro hell to get it). Werth it? I think so!


Speaking of metro hell, I insisted that we walk from the stadium to Union Station after so that I wouldn’t have to take the green line and transfer to the red line at Chinatown. The last time we did, I and several others on the crowded platform patiently waited while a handicapped man boarded the train. Unfortunately, the train driver wasn’t so patient.

As I started to board the train, the driver shut the doors. I caught the left side of the door with my arm. And the right side of the door? I caught that with my face. Normally when someone is caught in the door, the driver will open it back up so they can get out. I just had to squeeze my way out and off (Brian was still on the platform so there was no use trying to squeeze out and on). Werth it? Nope.

My life without my little fur nugget is pretty dull. It seems I’ve made it my goal to watch ALL THE HBO. I’ve gotten very into The Leftovers and I’m all caught up on Game of Thrones now. I was actually watching Game of Thrones when my sister came to visit the other weekend and she said “Oh look! Rob’s still alive!” “What??!! Rob dies??!!” “You mean you haven’t seen this???!!” “NOoooooOOOOooo!” Welp. Maybe I’ve ruined it for you now, too.

I’ve also taken in an interest in playing with my food. Exhibit A, B, C, and D below.

Screen Shot 2014-08-13 at 10.46.13 PM



I either need another pet or a better hobby.



His footprints are still visible in the dust on the base of my floor lamp, and I can’t bring myself to clean it.

His empty cage sits on the floor of my room, and I can’t bring myself to throw it out, though I also can’t ever see myself wanting to turn it into anyone else’s little home.

I avoided my apartment for as long as I could–an amazing four days–so I wouldn’t have to be reminded that he wasn’t there. Even still, parts of my routine remain engrained in my mind–I don’t know how long it will take until I stop trying to feed him on my way to brush my teeth.

Last Thursday morning, I noticed Margaret Thatcher–my chinchilla of over five years–was sleeping on top of his little cubby house instead of inside of it. As I scooped him up to examine him, he winced uncomfortable as my hand touched his soft little belly. I set him into his dust bath–something he usually really looked forward to–and became increasingly worried when he barely had the strength to roll over.

I only had to work half a day that day due to the upcoming holiday, but my greatest fear was that he would be gone by the time I got home. I spent an extra half hour laying with him in my bed, sobbing.

While at work, I made an appointment for him at an exotic pet vet in Fairfax that my coworker researched for me. I instantly felt better and more hopeful that he was going to be fine after a quick trip to the vet.

I came home and laid down with him on my bathroom floor–his favorite place in my room–for two whole hours before his appointment, offering him drinks of water from a tiny cup when he would take them. This would end up being the last time he ever spent with me at home.

We drove through a horrendous storm for nearly an hour before reaching the vet. But even as the storm subsided and the weather improved, the forecast for my poor little Mags was not nearly as promising. His temperature was low, he was incredibly dehydrated, the smell coming from his mouth indicated an infection, and probably scariest of all–the vet couldn’t hear his tiny heartbeat.

I sat in the waiting room by myself for three hours while they treated him. Brian met me right before the vet closed, and we said our goodbyes to Margaret in case he didn’t make it through the night. I held him in my arms and kissed his sweet little face for the last time.

The next morning, the vet called to let me know that my sweet little chinny had made it through the night. His temperature was stable, he was still taking in all the fluid they were giving him, and best of all, his X-ray showed that his heart was fine. She was worried about a dark spot she saw in his stomach, concerned that maybe he had swallowed something he shouldn’t have. Unfortunately, chinchillas usually don’t make it through surgery, so her best bet was to give him a laxative.

She warned me that his teeth weren’t in great shape, and that should he make it through his treatment, he would probably need regular teeth trimming. “The costs can quickly add up,” she said–hinting that euthanizing would most likely be the least expensive option.

At this point, cost didn’t really matter to me. I wanted to stick by his side–bad teeth and all.

Best case scenario, I was going to get to bring him home the next afternoon after another night of intensive treatment at the vet. She was going to show me how to give him his medicine, and I was going to bring him in later during the week for his teeth trimming.

Hopeful, I went to my apartment to make things as nice as possible for if and when I got to bring the little guy home. I deep cleaned everything he owned before getting ready for a party at the Capitol for the fourth.

The party was a nice distraction. I ate finger sandwiches and drank wine and overlooked the National Mall from the steps of the Capitol building. For minutes at a time, I was able to forget about the nightmare of an evening I’d had the previous day. And when I did remember, I was hopeful that it was going to all be worth it.

Around 7 p.m., I saw a number calling me that I didn’t recognize and my stomach sank–the vet wasn’t supposed to call me until the next morning. Something is wrong.

My festive red, white, and blue sunglasses weren’t enough to veil the tears that escaped their way beneath the lenses–gaining speed off the contours of my cheek before plunging off my chin and onto the navy dress with white polka dots that I’d had picked out for the occasion weeks before–weeks before when Mags was fine, or at least appeared to be.


His temperature had destabilized; his respiratory system was failing.

She told me this as I stared at my feet on the steps of the patio. It’s almost as though I couldn’t bear to  gaze upon the Washington Monument basking in the fading July summer sunlight or look out at the mob of people on the National Mall–all of them celebrating freedom while I felt chained to those steps by the tendrils of my own breaking heart.

On April 12, 2011, I celebrated Margaret Thatcher’s birthday. Well really I was celebrating the anniversary of the day I brought him home. This was the first photo I ever took of him:


In that post, I wrote that I was looking forward to our next 20 years together. You see, what most people don’t realize is that chinchillas have an amazing lifespan–most of them will outlive a dog.

But this wasn’t the same chinchilla that had been my most faithful companion for the past five years. I once made the decision to take my bed off it’s frame because I couldn’t keep Mags from going up inside my box spring and chewing on the wood–he had so much energy! The chinchilla I had dropped off at the vet the night before couldn’t even lift his head off the towel his aching body rested on.

On July 4, 2014, in one of the most unselfish decisions I’ve ever made, I decided to let the vets end his suffering.

I retreated into the Capitol building to try to find a place to privately call my mom. I ended up outside of the old Supreme Court chamber and wondered if any decision they ever had to make hurt as much as the one I just did.

Maybe I sound dramatic.

I’m okay with that.

I just wanted to let you know that the star of the show I’ve called my life (and my blog) for the past five years is no longer with me and that I stood by him and tried to give him every chance I could. I’m extremely thankful to have had a pet that made me a little more interesting of a person and who didn’t hold it against me that I named him after a female British prime minister.

I always knew I loved him–I guess I just didn’t know how big of a hold on my heart he actually had.

Photo on 10-24-12 at 8.20 PM #3
i cannot keep my room clean, can’t keep my headphones from tangling and my music from blasting
and the pen from bleeding through the page, and the
stairs from leading both up and down, and the river
from the ocean and the sun
from the sky, and i can’t help the fact that i stay up
too late
every night, and i miss you. [source]

{ 1 comment }