Before we begin, can I just say I still feel completely ridiculous with two computers? This is seriously me right now:

Necessary. Totally necessary. My birthday is coming up in April. Nobody buy me a computer. Ok fine. You can buy me a third computer if you want.

So yesterday I worked on my wife skills. I was going to say I worked on my wife skills over the weekend, but Friday and Saturday were mostly spent being a raging slut. I feel like that’s the opposite of a wife skill. Am I joking or am I not? We’ll never really know.

Firstly, I made this baked egg boat recipe. I could not find demi sourdough baguettes ANYWHERE, so I used a French loaf. It still came out delicious, but took a lot longer than 20 minutes to bake.

I also used bacon instead of pancetta and doubled the amount of green onions. These were both excellent ideas. 

This was one of my favorite recipes I’ve ever come across and really easy to make. I had a little bit of a problem finding gruyere cheese (ended up finding it at Whole Foods) but in the future I would probably just substitute a sharp white cheddar. I’m no cheese snob, after all.

Next up, I tested out my new slow cooker and made Jessica’s crockpot BBQ beer chicken.

Ohhhhh yesssssss.

Of course, I never have beer in my house and all the liquor stores were closed by the time I got around to grocery shopping yesterday, so I used Pepsi. I didn’t think about the fact that this was going to make it sweeter, I was just looking to substitute the carbonation in Jessica’s recipe. Next time I would definitely use beer.

I know that I have a tendency to become unreasonably obsessed with certain kitchen appliances, and this slow cooker is no different. I impulse purchased this month’s Real Simple just because of a feature with sow cooker recipes. I’m sure by the end of the week, I will question how I ever lived without it.

Finally, I cleaned my bathroom. I know this is weird, but when I was younger, I would always request cleaning the bathroom on my chore list rather than vacuuming or doing the dishes. I think I just really like the smell of Clorox and Lysol.

I’m normal.

When I first started blogging, I was blogging with an HP DV6000 notebook.

I bought this notebook in summer 2007. She was supposed to get me through all of college. In fact, when I bought her, I never even thought twice about ever having to replace her. But in June 2010, I laid my very first laptop down to rest:

I think what makes me absolutely furious is that googling “HP DV6000″ allows me to view all the recalls and problems that everyone has with this laptop, and how they extend your warranty, but only for so long. Like I said, lappy and I have been through a lot. She’s already had her motherboard replaced once, and also her screen. Her internal wireless card stopped working a while ago. The cost to repair it would have been too much, so I purchased an external one. This is currently the third adapter I’ve gone through for the same damn laptop.

This is a piece of equipment that I’ve spent over $1,000 on. The money that purchased this laptop came from saving bonds that I’ve had starting since I was 6-years-old. HP wouldn’t care about this, of course. HP is HP, after all.

After many tearful phone calls with customer service at HP, I swore I’d never buy an HP again. I did some research and decided to buy a Dell.

Of course this around, I hadn’t been saving up for a computer and was a poor college student. I opened up my first credit card from Best Buy and spent a year paying him off $50-$100 a month. But in October 2011, only a few months after I finished paying him off, I was having problems. I took him to Best Buy for repairs (big mistake I know) and I handed over $340 for all the repairs he needed. Sure, I could have purchased a new one for only a few hundred dollars more, but I wasn’t okay with going through three laptops in the span of three years (or so I thought).

In order to fix my computer, Best Buy needed recovery discs from Dell that I didn’t have. Best Buy said it would take four days for Dell to deliver these discs. So I called Dell to order them, a process that took 25 minutes. While on the phone, the Dell rep told me that I should have taken my laptop to a Dell store to get fixed, because they would have repaired it for $260 instead of $340. Ok thanks, except I already paid for the services at Best Buy, and I’ve never seen a Dell store in my life.

I finally got an order for the discs placed, which cost me another $60. I was told the discs would be delivered on November 20, 2011. As of two weeks ago, that order was delayed 17 times.

I had try to call several times to ask about my order, but Dell’s phone system is frustrating and hard to navigate. I finally found an option to e-mail Dell Customer Service. After submitting the e-mail form, I was notified that I would receive an email letting me know that my response had been received, and that I would get a response from Dell in 24 hours.

No response ever came.

So during work when I was sure to catch them during business hours, I called Dell Customer service. I spoke to a woman who very clearly could only offer to cancel my order or proceed with the order. I was then transferred to another representative, who transferred me to his manager.

I spent 15 minutes on hold. My cell phone was dying. I was angry.

All the manager told me was that they planned to assign a case manager to my case in order to find out why the order had been delayed 17 times. They asked what was the best time to call and I told them after 6. My case manager called me at noon the next day.

She told me that the reason the order was getting delayed was because Dell actually no longer manufactured the parts I need. So instead of having someone call and tell me this, they just kept delaying the order indefinitely. Normal. She told me they were going to produce an alternative part and express ship it to me for free and cancel the other order. This all happened within a span of about 4 days.

I received the disks. I took them to Best Buy. My Dell was fixed 3 days later after nearly four months of being out of service.

I’m blogging on it right now. It feels weird.

One of the main reasons it feels weird is because I purchased a third laptop while my second one was getting fixed. Laptop number three is a MacBook Pro—something I never thought I’d purchase.

My entire family is a Mac family, but I’ve just never been a fan. My biggest issue is that Macs aren’t ideal for blogging. I like to blog with Windows Live Writer, and there’s no comparable desktop blogging platform for Macs.

Nonetheless, I haven’t hated the past few months with my Mac nearly as much as I thought I would. I now own two computers—which seems a little excessive, but makes me feel better in case something goes wrong with either one of them. I’m glad to have the Dell back for blogging, and I’m glad to have the Mac for watching porn. Just kidding. Maybe.

The positive part of the whole experience was actually a comment my coworker Elliott made one day:

Elliott: Why are you in a bad mood?

Lexie: My Dell has been out of service for so long and I really don’t like using my Mac…

Elliott: first world problems

And he’s right! I should really be more grateful for the fact that I’ve had the means to own a computer at all, let alone three computers in the past three years.

So here I am, laying on my bed with two computers feeling completely silly. I’ll just end saying, once again, Windows Live Writer is the best thing that has ever happened to blogging.

Enjoy your Saturday.

I went home to Pennsylvania this weekend for my sister’s birthday and multiple people told me that I looked really tan and that my teeth looked really white.

“Yeah, I always go tanning and whiten my teeth right before I have a date and well, I’ve had a lot of dates lately.”

Hm. That was kind of an asshole response and it’s not even really true. Nonetheless, here’s a little insight into my regimen.

The Teeth:

Sidenote: Try taking a photo demonstrating how white your teeth are and not look like a douchebag. It’s tricky.

There are a couple of products I use to keep my teeth white.

1. Straws– I drink absolutely everything out of a straw, especially dark sodas and coffees. This prevents any dark liquids from staining my teeth. Preventative measures are the best (and least expensive) measures to take to keep your teeth white.
2. Tooth brush- I use an Oral B whitening toothbrush. They cost like, $6 or something at grocery store. No big deal.
3. Toothpaste- I use Crest 3D White Vivid.
4. Mouthwash- Listerine Whitening Pre-Brush rinse is my go-to. I don’t use it every day, just when I think my teeth are looking lackluster.
5. Whitestrips- Before dates or special events or just when I need a touch up, I’ll wear a Crest 3D White Advanced Seal White Strip for 30 minutes. They make a huge difference even if you just wear them right before. If you need serious whitening though, you should follow the instructions and wear them once a day for two weeks.
6. Gum- I chew Trident White in Peppermint constantly. I have no idea whether it actually works or not, but I’m pretty much addicted to it. It’s DELICIOUS.

The ‘Tan’:

1. Tanning beds: Yes, they are controversial. And yes, I know I shouldn’t be using them. But I do. It’s my thing. Deal with it. Unlimited tanning comes free with my black card membership to Planet Fitness. I use a tanning bed anytime I go to the gym, which ranges from 0-5 days a week. The reason I looked especially tan was because I happened to go to the gym three days in a row, so I tanned three days in a row.
2. Moisturize: If you have dry skin, the UV rays don’t absorb as well. I moisturize with Udderly Smooth Udder Cream…which I guess is for cows… which is why I use it. I put it on right after my shower, which is when your skin best absorbs moisture.
3. Makeup- I use Makeup Forever Duo Matte foundation shade 205. I also use Nars Illuminator in Orgasm on my cheeks and nose. Additionally, wearing nude lips and nude nails also makes your skin look a little tanner. Dark colors will make your skin look lighter.

So that’s my regimen. ENJOY. Or don’t. I’ll just look better in comparison. ;-)

Things that I like about you:

1. Your face looks kind of like my face.

2. You make puppy chow sometimes.

3. You can’t dance but you dance anyway.

4. You laugh when I say ‘poop.’

5. You are really nice to my mom, dad, siblings, and grandparents (who coincidentally are your mom, dad, siblings, and grandparents).

6. You aren’t afraid to be silly because you know you will still look normal in comparison to me.

7. You do your makeup really pretty and I’m jealous.

8. You let me hang out with you and your friends which works out pretty well because you have awesome friends.

9. You mail me “I’m doin’ me” mix CDs whenever I had no idea the post office still even existed.

10. You don’t make it obvious to our other siblings that I’m your favorite even though I am because well that would hurt their feelings and you are too nice to ever do that. And I like that about you too.

Happy Birthday big seeestor.

I’ve been trying to increase the variety of things that I post on Lex and the City’s Facebook page instead of just linking to recent posts. Basically, I’ve been trying to post additional, complimentary material that you wouldn’t get just from reading the blog alone. In doing this, I’m trying to provide incentive to like the page on Facebook because it’s a better interface for us to interact on.

Here’s the kind of stuff I’ll be posting:

1. Links to recent posts (of course)

2. Links to posts from the archives

3. Comments on the blog that I like

4. Completely unnecessary and narcissistic web cam photos

5. Links to other people’s blogs/posts I like

6. Funny google searches from my google analytics

7. and um… anything else stupid and pointless I feel like posting

And of course, with the Facebook setup, you are able to post whatever you want on it as well. So good do that. You know I’ll respond.

Sometimes I wonder what I would do without my dear friend, Hiba. Yesterday at work, she let me know that the Steve Madden at Tyson’s Corner was closing and that all of the shoes were two for $40. Of course by the time I made it there, none of the shoes I wanted were available in my size. Why must I have the most common shoe size ever? Damn you, size 8-8.5 feet. Why must you be so average!!!

I was about ready to give up when something caught my eye–there amongst all the picked over Steve Madden pumps stood one single Betsey Johnson pump. I have no idea what she was doing in Steve Madden, but I skipped her over to sales attendant, with crossed fingers, and asked for an 8 or an 8.5. The rest of it gets kind of blurry, because before I know it, I’m leaving Steve Madden with a pair of outrageous Bestey Johnson shoes for a fourth of their original price. That’s right. Baby girls were only $30.

So forget what I said about trying to be responsible with money and putting my shoe spending on hold. Because if anything in the world sounds stupid to me, it’s walking away from $30 Betsey Johnson pumps.

Side note: BetsyJohnson.com and BetseyJohnson.com are two completely different things.

Do you recall the scene in the Oscar winning film “The Wedding Planner” where Jennifer Lopez gets her shoe stuck in a sewage grate in the street?

So yeah. That totally happened to me today.

I was in the cafe in the downstairs of the building I work in when I got the heel of my shoe stuck in a small drain on the floor. I called out to my friend Serena to come help me, but before she could come to my aid, a Mexican construction worker was on the floor trying to free my shoe. About 20 people in were in the cafe at the time and witnessed my stuckness. And let me add, I’m not quiet girl. Needless to say, it was a scene.

Only me, right?

Well, me and Jennifer Lopez.

Warning.

Warning.

Warning.

Warning.

Do not continue reading this post if you are a man. Especially if you are my dad or my brother or my boss.

I recently finished my first week with the DivaCup and I just wanted to share my thoughts on it in case anyone is contemplating “greening” their period.

The DivaCup “is a non-absorbent menstrual cup that simply collects menstrual flow. It is inserted in the vagina and sits at the lower base of the vaginal canal. The DivaCup can be worn for up to 12 hours before emptying, washing and reinserting for use for another 12 hours. It can be used for light or moderate flows and is emptied more often to accommodate heavy flows. Perfect for overnight use.”

So now the major reason I was interested in trying the DivaCup is living alone has caused me to realize that there is no such thing as a tampon fairy and those suckers don’t just magically appear under the sink. So not only was I getting frustrated with always having to soak up (ew) the cost of my Tampax collection, but I also was just terrible in general at keeping it stocked. I always forget to bring the suckers to work with me and would frequently go way to long without changing them. Seriously. How have I not died from toxy shock yet?

I spent $36 on my DivaCup, which I found at Whole Foods. There are only two sizes of cups–one for women who haven’t given birth and one for women who have.

Inserting the DivaCup was pretty easy. I mean, I’m pretty used to shoving things up my Eleanor Rigby at this point–whether it be vodka soaked tampons or the Nuva Ring. I chose the “push down fold” method of insertion.

The cup can be worn for up to 15 hours–which is really ideal. I don’t have to worry about forgetting to take “shark week” supplies with me to work. It also didn’t leak at all, which is really amazing for not ruining the Victoria’s Secret underwear that your mom’s dog is just going to eat when you visit home anyway.

I’m still not entirely used to taking the cup out, though I did improve as the week progressed. The first few times, I had to lay on my back to get the cup out. And if you’re thinking about how gravity works, then yeah, that’s not ideal. Let’s just say that I might have dumped its contents on myself once or twice while taking it out. (Kill me)

I ultimately think this was a really great investment. I love the fact that I’m reducing the amount of sick nasty tampon and pad waste in the world, and I also love the fact that I never have to waste money on them ever again. Plus, not having to worry about changing anything or worry about leaks is also pretty ideal. I would definitely recommend the DivaCup and hate my period a little bit less than I used to.

I forgot until recently how absolutely ridiculous the Kardashian Christmas card always is…

Like… certain proportions just don’t look right. Can the Kardashians somehow not afford decent photoshopping?

But more importantly, last night as I was pointing out all the oddities in the K-card, I remembered that I didn’t even make it into my family Christmas card.

Yep, that’s what I get for moving out of the state I suppose.

Ok, I guess technically I made it into the picture. See that thing my mom is holding? It’s a Christmas ornament with my photo in it.

We’re an unusual family. I really have no right calling out the Kardashians…

Awkward family photos, look out!